Thursday, April 18, 2013

The most important thing to give your children…

That's me! 

Some of you are probably thinking how ironic it is that I feel like I am actually able to give some parenting advice since I myself have no children. However, for some reason, children have always been around me. From starting to babysit at age 12 through high school and even college, to my first job out of college and my current positions at school and at church, somehow, I have found myself around kids.

Throughout the last 13 years I have been around lots of kids and I have come to the realization that when you boil everything down, children need one main thing: CONSISTENCY

I understand that people may argue there are more important things kids need like love, discipline, structure, Christian values, parent involvement, etc., but all of these things mean nothing without consistency. Here are some of my thoughts and concerns about this situation and why I feel consistency needs to be implemented in every aspect of life when raising a child.

Discipline
I have learned that discipline has zero effect on a child unless it is followed through. Once a kid knows they can sway you to do what they want, or to “undo” a punishment, you are a goner. Empty threats to a child are one of the worst things you can do in regards to discipline. Following through with discipline will create less arguments and better behavior. The trick is to make sure the warning/threat you are implementing to your child is something that matches the crime (meaning: make it relevant, and don’t give a punishment during anger). This consistency needs to be used both at home and in the classroom.

Christian values
Nothing bothers me more than to see Christian parents raising their children and then not attend church regularly. Church is the one place we can come together to encourage each other and fulfill our important purpose on the Earth (Hebrews 10:25). I think of all the repercussions of things like irregular church attendance, not teaching your child how to tithe and handle money, and not implementing Christian values consistently. I can’t do anything but assume that if the family does not see these things as high importance now, the child will grow up and continue to not see these things as important. 

Parent involvement, love, gushy gushy stuff
And then you have the part where you are just being around your kids when they are being kids. I have seen teen after teen strive for their parents’ attention and constantly get rejected. It’s so sad to me that so many parents are not able to put some kind of focus on their kids. Too many kids have learned to have to grow up far beyond their age in order to take care of themselves, other siblings, or sometimes even their parents. Though this seems a bit extreme, it’s everywhere, and all I wish is that parents see the value of raising their children appropriately, giving them lots of love and discipline, as well as showing them the importance in life.  

While I would love to say that if all of these things are implemented, you will raise the perfect child, I am absolutely scared to death that I know this isn't true. You eventually have to release them from your arms and pray to God that they make the right decisions. Without even having a kid of my own, I cannot imagine the struggle that would be. Raising children scares the crap out of me but I’m looking forward to it every day. 

That's My Life at Current

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